Wedding Etiquette 101

Wedding Etiquette 101

I can say with absolute certainty that my wedding day was the happiest day of my life (up to this point). I’ll be honest, though; the days leading up to it were not always quite as happy. Yes, we all know that wedding planning is super fun but it can be super stressful too. Not only are you spending more money than you ever have before, but there are opportunities to offend people around every corner. In an effort to help you avoid an unforeseen gaff, we’re giving a quick lesson in wedding etiquette. Watch out, Emily Post!

1) Our wedding theme is “grown sexy” (inside joke for all of the Bachelor fans out there) and kids are not invited, but my Aunt is insisting! What do I say?

This one can be touchy. You don’t want to offend anyone but kids add a certain element to a wedding that some brides just do not want. Call your Aunt and be kind but firm. If she really seems upset, perhaps extend an invitation for the kids to attend the shower (only if appropriate though). Bottom line: you can’t give in to her and risk offending the other parents who didn’t put up a fight. Don’t be afraid to invite the ring bearer and/or flowergirl though; because they served as a part of the wedding ceremony, this is an acceptable exception to the rule.

Adorable! Almost too adorable....are they stealing my thunder?!

Adorable! Almost too adorable….are they stealing my thunder?!

2) Look, I like my coworkers, but do I have to invite ALL of them to my wedding?

This one can be tricky if you’re in a smaller office. How do you get around inviting some but not all of them? If possible, try to stick to an obvious dividing line (i.e. only invite your direct team or department). When it comes time to send out invitations, mail them to their home addresses (no passing them out in the office!). Regardless of your decision, keep all wedding talk strictly outside of the office, to avoid any hurt feelings.

3) I’m drowning in plus ones! How can I get my guest list down?

This one hits close to home for me. We made the decision to only extend plus ones to guests in a serious relationship. After some discussion, we decided that for us, a serious relationship meant living together. Don’t get me wrong, I know that there are people in serious, committed relationships who are not living together, but we had to draw the line somewhere! It was tough but ultimately that decision helped us get the guest list down enough to secure our dream venue. So, try and do the same. Pick a deciding factor that you’re comfortable with and stick to it!

It can be tempting to just grab the scissors and end the madness. VERY tempting.

It can be tempting to just grab the scissors and end the madness. VERY tempting.


These are just a few of the etiquette topics that can crop up during wedding planning. To be sure you’re covering your bases, check out the following links and remember to breathe, relax and enjoy wedding planning as much as possible!

Emily Post: Etiquette Queen

Real Simple: Top 24 Wedding Etiquette Questions